I’m baaaack. You all can’t get rid of me that easily. I have good and bad events that have been all-consuming and sue me, there’s nothing geeky about this post, but anyone who feel self conscious about their skin will relate to the bad.
It’s been a crazy month: absolutely insane, actually. Approximately two weeks before the end of March, Evan and I started apartment hunting. Our first stop was a place called Princeton Arms, their one-bedrooms were right in our price range. We got to look around one of their empty apartments. Turns out it had been empty since January, but because of all the goddamned snow no one’s been able to flip apartments. It was perfect. Princeton Arms is a big apartment complex, so everything was was in good working condition, and the apartment was a back-facing unit and behind the complex is a nature reserve, so we’d always be looking at wild life and have basically a back yard. We moved in April 1. It’s amazing. I have Dexter and Mona Lisa CMKY coasters as well as a Tardis projection alarm clock. I have a signed Roger Dean octopus on my wall and a self portrait of my father from many years ago. Evan’s father bought us a wide screen television. Really what we’re missing is a couch. It’ll come with time.
So that’s the good.
Now comes the bad.
A few days after move in, my self-diagnosed Keratosis Pilaris started acting up. Usually, this presents itself as a handful of flesh-colored bumps on the back of my upper arms and some small acne-looking bumps on the top of my back; it doesn’t itch, it doesn’t hurt and it usually resolves itself by ignoring it. Of course, it is brought on by stress. I haven’t really had an outbreak since July, and then it appeared a few days after the move. It didn’t just appear on the back of my arms and upper back. It is all over my arms, my legs, my back, fuck, even on my stomach. Every single pore appeared to be raised. It was fucking horrible. I was self conscious insanely, so I started poking around the internet. It turns out that what it is is that my skin doesn’t exfoliate itself properly, so the skin that dies drys up and builds keratin plugs, creating bumps. Treatment is exfoliation and a crap load of moisturizers. Because it was so bad, I was using Benadryl’s cream to keep myself from itching. So I decided to buy the oral Benadryl to take before bed, figuring it would be more effective. I had an allergic reation to it. My left eye swelled up. Fucking great, right? It took it three or four days for that to heal itself: beautiful face peeling included.
One of the moisturizers I saw recommended again and again for KP was Amlactin, it’s got 12% some acid thing, so it exfoliates as it moisturizes. So I gave in and bought some. $25 for a normal sized bottle. It says to use it twice a day. For $25 a figured it better fucking work. I think I over treated my arms because I’m simply always looking at them. I basically burned away the top layer of my skin. Go me. For days I’ve looked like I got a really bad sunburn. My arms were swollen, itchy, and bright red. So I switched back to Vaseline’s aloe soothe moisturizer. Yesterday my arms started to go down in swelling, my hands are still swollen which looks worse than it did, but only because now my arms aren’t swollen also. Today my arms were shedding. I’m like a goddamned lizard. It’s gross. However, once my arms are exfoliated with a loufa, they’re smooth like a baby’s butt. They’re finally less red, as well! Hooray! Thank the fucking gods. Because I need my arms to not look like this in two weeks when I’m a bridesmaid at my BFF’s wedding – I’d die of embarrassment.
“Dear Skin Bumps, you better be gone or flesh colored again by the 26th, damn it.”